i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Randomize