i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
Randomize
