Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
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