I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
