would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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