Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
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