I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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