I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Randomize
