there was a trapeze. enough said
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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