I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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