Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
