Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
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