There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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