Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Randomize
