I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Houston, we have a blender
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
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