You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
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It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
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I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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