Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
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