saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Randomize
