I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Sorry about my life...
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Randomize
