We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
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He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
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I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
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