I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
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