a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
