Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
