I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
