i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Randomize
