smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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