Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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