I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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