I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
Randomize
