i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
