dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
