I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Randomize
