I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Randomize
