she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
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