Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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