On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
operation harelip BJ is a go
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
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