well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
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