Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
