My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
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