I'm really into asian looking animals
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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