You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
