he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
that is very illegal...i love you.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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