Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
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