You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize