I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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