i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
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My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
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