does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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