I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
I feel like death gave me a hand job
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
