Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
