is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Randomize
