Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
You may now shotgun with the bride
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
Randomize
