i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Randomize
