Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
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So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
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