Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
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I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
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First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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