took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize
