Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
So many bounce houses so little time
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Randomize
