i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
I'm getting married
To pizza
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
